Archive for September, 2009

OUR NEW HOME

Posted in FAMILY on September 12, 2009 by taralceleste

We went to take a look at our new home today to see what had been done by the landlord and what still needed to be done. The previous tenant had purposely destroyed the home and the grounds surrounding it, so it would not be livable for awhile. But our landlord has made it possible to be moved into by this up and coming weekend. We have agreed to clean it and fix up the things that are semi easy for us to ease the burden on him. It is absolutely beautiful, from the built in ceiling light fixtures, the double closets in every room, the two bathrooms we have at our disposal, the washer and dryer, the mud room with cathedral ceilings, the 4th floor loft, the extraordinarily large back and front yards, all the way to the oversized deck and built in pancake griddle and outside grill top attached to the stove in the kitchen. We have many amenities at our disposal and much more than we could have ever asked for. Our first house and it will soon be ours by deed once we pay off the rent to own amount. Something to pass down in the family for generations. We received our lease agreement and a copy of the lease today. We go back tomorrow to turn it in and prepare for a day of cleaning and what not. Our roommates, who are wonderful people, will be coming with us, so as to finish the house in a timely manner so all can move in as quickly as possible. I showed Liam his new room today and as if he understood the words “your new room and home”, his smile lit up across his face. I believe children his age can understand more than us adults could ever comprehend and I got that impression today. He has never had his own room and his grandmother and I vowed that we would find a better home for him and a better life. Well, we have finally found it and we are so happy to have a better piece of home for us all. We will be one close knit, happy family here I think.

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DARK TIMES IN MY PAST LIFE

Posted in Poetry on September 9, 2009 by taralceleste

I am not me on this dark day,
I am her the daughter.
I see through her eyes and feel her pain emanating from withing the very core of her soul.
I yearn to cry out and I do,
So loud so angrily as I scratch away at these layers of hate.
I feel the cool feel of floor upon my back,
I open my eyes and know now what I must do.
Just release is all I need,
just release.
Like a drug it seduces me into nothingness,
this life of blackness beyond the one we know now.
It loves me,
yearns for me;
It stalks me in the night.
I will succumb to you my love,
end my burning pain;
my misery and rage that envelopes my ever present being.
I am ready for my fate,
my soft,
small hand reaches for the abyss.
Hot red blood flows from these microscopic veins in need,
I welcome it with love and passion;
to be done with the pain they have caused me.
I am free now,
I am free from this sadness that I bare within my heart for those lost within the darkness,
and for those that pushed us over the cliff.
We have fallen with grace,
The wind seduces our bodies wrapping itself around as if it was but a mere blanket beneath us,
we whisper to the world above;
“Do not cry for I am free now, Dry your tears and forgive us and pray for us”.
Death caresses my lips with the breath of emptiness and ever longing darkness,
I am uncomfortably numb but free.

OUR DWINDLING ECONOMY

Posted in NEWS, SOCIETY on September 8, 2009 by taralceleste

I have seen our country go through many a thing and survive. But I can’t help but notice that this is our gravest time with the economy dwindling and people suffering from money problems. Houses are being foreclosed upon and good families are losing their homes, families are sleeping in tent communities by the lakes in certain states, they are suffering as they try to provide for their families trying to keep food on the table. Some families are being laid off and unable to find new jobs, having to go on unemployment, food stamps and receive cash benefits from their states. Obama is at the very heart of this. He promised us that he would fix the unemployment crisis and instead has focused more on health care and the war. A healthcare bill is being passed that does not very well help us citizens, but instead is only being passed so that the government can make money from it. It says that it will in fact help us, but we have had bills passed like this before that eventually help only the government make money. Every state and country is suffering the crisis, but Alaska stays strong and is the only country at the moment that has many jobs and is thriving. Maybe all americans should migrate to alaska for security in life?

IS THERE EVER A SUCH THING AS MR. RIGHT?

Posted in Relationships, Romance on September 8, 2009 by taralceleste

I feel I have searched long and strenuously to find the mr. right for me. The one who I will love my whole life through. I will have that beautiful house on the hill overlooking the mountains, in the middle of nowhere. The land will be my supplier of food, as I grow a field of vegetables and fruits. Next to my house will be the barn, painted bright red with many animals to supply us with food and drink. My Mr. right will be the sort of man who will welcome this lifestyle and understand it.
You see… If we all lived off the land as people did many times ago and survived, it would be a much simpler and easier life for us. They of course had their troubles, but the land provided what they needed, they didn’t have to worry about money as often as our time does, or if their family was fed and clothed as we do. I believe if everyone participated in this sort of life, they would find much happiness. But our generations are too accustomed to the finer things in life and I am not sure they know how to appreciate a life such as this. But I am willing to sacrifice a lot to test out this sort of life and give it a go ahead.

I believe I have finally found my Mr. right that could appreciate these beliefs and this lifestyle. He is very unique and has refreshing beliefs of the world around us and life in itself. He is well educated in many studies and is willing to teach me these ways, as I am anything but ignorant to new ideas, ways of life and beliefs. Many of which intrigue me so much, that I will be blogging about them in the next few weeks and hope to hear many opinions on what other people view in such subjects. It is interesting to know what the rest of the world believes.

He is perfect for ME in every way. He is very chivalrous and opens doors for me, He appreciates my appearance and does not expect me to look like a page 5 supermodel, or live up to the expectations consumers push upon us. That in itself is refreshing for me. He takes well to my son which is a plus. He is attentive to him and talks to him and enjoys his company. We went to his home yesterday and he offered to make lunch for my son, as we had been out viewing our new home as roomates. Last night after we had gone out and had dinner and returned back to my home, my son was having a tough time getting to sleep as he is teething and Mick (the Mr. Right) decided to take it upon himself to help me ease is pain. He took a teething ring and placed it between his thumb and forefinger and it helped ease Liam’s fussiness and pain of course. He helped me get him to sleep and I was very appreciative for that. That is a plus in finding the right man as well. If he is that attentive and caring towards your child, he is a keeper. We watched a great movie and bid adieu to each other at the end of a wonderful night. He hugged me ever so caringly  for a long time and then he left. Later he sent me an email that said “I should have kissed you”! I wish he had as that could have made for a perfect ending to a perfect night, But it was already perfect even without such a kiss. Nothing could have made it more perfect.

We share some of the same views, many of the same hobbies. It’s all so perfect and I pray that it all works out and that I’ve finally found my lost match. The other part of me that I have been searching for, for so long now.